Classic Poem

What a friend we have in cheeses!
For no food more subtly pleases,
Nor plays so grand a gastronomic part;
Cheese imported — not domestic —
For we all get indigestic
From the pasteurizer's Kraft and sodden art.

No poem we shall ever see is
Quite as lovely as a Brie is,
For " the queen of cheese " is what they call the Brie;
If you pay sufficient money
You will get one nice and runny,
And you'll understand what foods these morsels be!

How we covet all the skills it
Takes in making Chevre or Tilset,
But if getting basic Pot Cheese is your aim,
Take some simple curds and wheys, a
Bit of rennet — Lo! you've Käse!
(Which is what, in German, is a cheese's name.)

Good lasagna, it's a-gotta
Mozzarella and Ricotta
And a lotta freshly grated Parmesan;
With the latter any pasta
Will be eaten up much faster,
For with Parmesan an added charm is on.

Ask Ignacio Silone
What he thinks of Provolone,
And the very word will set his eyes a flame;
Then go ask the bounteous Gina
Her reaction to Fontina —
If you'll raise your eyes you'll see she feels the same.

A Pont-l'Evêque au point! What ho!
How our juices all will flow!
But don't touch a Pont-l'Evêque beyond that stage,
For what you'll have, you'll surely find
Is just an over-fragrant rind —
There's no benefit to this fromage from age.

Claret, dear, not Coca Cola,
When you're having Gorgonzola —
Be particular to serve the proper wines;
Likewise pick a Beaune, not Coke for
Pointing up a Bleu or Roquefort —
Bless the products of the bovines and the vines!

Ave Gouda! Ave Boursault!
Ave Oka even more so!
Ave Neufchâtel, Saluto lut!
And another thing with cheeses —
Every allied prospect pleases —
Ah cheese blintzes! Ah Welsh rabbit! Ah fondue!

And we all know that " Say cheese " is
How a cameraman unfreezes
A subject in a stiff, or shy, or dour way;
There's no other food so useful,
So bring on a whole cabooseful
Of the stuff of life! The cheeses of the gourmet!