Classic Poem

Nil proprium ducas, quod mutarier potest.

'Tis strange that those should most Obey
Who talk of universal Sway;
That still the Tail the Head should rule,
And ev'ry Man be Woman's Fool;
That those, whose Province 'tis to hear
What wiser we may make appear,
Should make us all they say believe;
Their Word the only Proof they give——
?The weaker Vessels let them be;
And think 'em so who will for me;
'Tis plain their Logic overpow'rs
The boasted Energy of ours:
I firmly think, and shall do still,
That Reason's Strength lies in the Will,
'Till Syllogism can overthrow
The Force of, 'Tis, because' tis so ——
?My Name was fixt, I always thought——
Banks, quasi River's Banks I wrote;
And durst, against the World, maintain
An Etymology so plain——
Full oft' I said, full oft' I sung,
How from some Fisherman I sprung;
Who dwelling near his subject Brook,
Thence his Denomination took——
?But vain is all we think or do,
Unless the Fair approve it too!
My Name, of which I was so sure,
Alass! no longer must endure.
?A Female Cousin saw me write,
And seem'd to startle at the Sight——
My Cousin? sure 'tis not the same!
This ne'er can be my Cousin's Name!
My Father wrote it with a C,
And so do I, and so should he——
A, C, said I, that must be wrong,——
'Tis right, quoth she, so hold your Tongue——
I told her I could scarce believe her,
It must be Banks from Banks of River ——
A Fig for River's Banks, she cry'd,
I say I'll have the C supply'd,
Or else I'll never own you more;
So lose my Favour, or restore——
Not own? thought I, I ne'er shall bear it——
Then straight at Bottom clapt a Caret :
Resolv'd I'll use it 'till I die;
Convinc'd, she gave good Reason why.——
?With Women since if I dispute,
They unavoidably confute——
My Cousin need but speak her Mind,
To make me Silent, Deaf, or Blind;
What Mortal would not be the same,
Perswaded once out of his Name.