Hyperbole taken to the mad max 
mayhem when necessary
to, poeticize, publicize,
exorcize, criticize, and alphabetize
desecrating, demeaning, dehumanizing,
online behavior by George
toward one run of the mill
on the floss (by the pond)

decent chap and good friend of mine,
who I will defend
to the last gasp of me dying breath
so help me dog
from becoming...what else,
but analogous to melon collie.

Please pardon my French
but some blimey wench accuses me...
(just your average bloke)
of imposing on me her
cruel and unusual punishment
including barbarous treatments,
degrading acts, and punishments
that violate society's
"evolving standards of decency"
for denying said lass
supposed inheritance money
north of a million dollars,
cuz I did not give shy stir lawyer
user name and password
of my Citizens Bank account
after NOT stopping myself short
texting unnamed young lady in question
the financial banking address
I entrust hard earned money
courtesy social security benefits,
banking institutional name,
routing number,
user name to log into said website,
and last but not least

set of keys to the safe-box
kept secretly hidden
within squalid residence
I live the wife and
small number of rug rats
that scatter across matted rug,
when yours truly or the wife
gets mad as a raging red bull
in a China shop.

No star studded name mentioned,
but a gal whose name 
partially redacted to protect 
the broad innocent 
well mannered baby boomer 
(let me hear you chortle), 
I kid you not dear reader 
none other than the beloved 
chillingly, fiery, yet 
icily C******te Johnson
(perhaps mate, ye been a lucky soul 
to experience such pleasantries),
who lavishes the recipient 
saith my Puritanical presumption 
respectable reprobate husband
to a loving wife,
who just delivered to me
a super bowl to her “bad bunny”
invariable the sassy tart 
would gleefully have targeted, 
who counted his blessings
unlike untold unfortunate 
older boyish looking lads 
neutered, unsuspectedly, and unwittingly 
only the most awful, baneful, 
colorful, disdainful, fearful, et cetera

gift to gratify her penchant 
to hurl blackened barbs
tipped with killer toxicity 
glad to be free of the bitch,
though we never met, 
she treated me 
as if we happened 
to be a long established dynamic duo 
where the madding crowd parted 
(think Charlton Heston 
playing Moses in the1956 epic film, 
which movie, directed by Cecil B. DeMille, 
tells the story of Moses's life, 
his leadership of the enslaved Hebrews, 
and his role in 
receiving the Ten Commandments 
on Mount Sinai),
when in truth our rapport 
strictly limited to the staid online 
webbed, wide world, 
where general superficial familiarity 
already the talk of the town, 
and virtually hyped-up 
artificially intelligently generated 
countless spinoffs and spoofs practically 
ready made for streaming media, 
where copy cat tempestuous zealots
denied opportunistic fodder
yielded countless versions, 
which took a page 
from the bard videlicet tragicomic 
taming of the shrew 
brought unwelcome contempt 
to each of our unsolicited lives, 
(which may as well have been sordid), 
we as suddenly rendered infamous persons, 
and I shudder to think 
what bajillion dollar business 
left untapped untold possibilities 
of venomous wickedness 
above imagined scenario,
could have become a manifest destiny, 
had yours truly NOT 
put an electronic block 
on our Facebook Messenger, 
and to any potential drama, 
which would easily put 
eye popping imbroglio 
Hollywood fodder to shame.