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On a Splendud Match

[ On the night of the marraige of the foregoin' couple, which shall be nameless here, these lines was ca'mly dashed off in the albun of the happy bride whilse the shivver-ree was goin' on outside the residence .]
HE was warned against the womern —
She was warned aginst the man . —
And ef that won't make a weddin',
W'y, they's nothin' else that can!

He That Hath No Mistress

He that hath no mistress, must not wear a favour,
He that woos a mistress, must serve before he have her,
He that hath no bedfellow, must lie alone,
And he that hath no lady, must be content with Joan,
And so must I, for why alas my love and I am parted,
False Cupid, I will have thee whipt, and have thy mother carted.

A Foreign Ruler

He says, My reign is peace, so slays
A thousand in the dead of night.
Are you all happy now? he says,
And those he leaves behind cry quite.
He swears he will have no contention,
And sets all nations by the ears;
He shouts aloud, No intervention!
Invades, and drowns them all in tears.