The Attempt

The Attempt

the chalky protein shakes,
pink or chocolate
tasted like
failure to me
I’d slough them off
on the other crazies

the nurses threatened
to take my smokes away
if I didn’t eat
but I liked the process
of whittling down,
baring bone

you brought me some,
not the brand I usually
smoked, but I was
touched nonetheless

we sat on my bed to talk
on the rough white sheets,
institutional and
reeking of bleach
they were an affront to me,
so clean

they found me with
sand in my hair,
sand in my mouth
on a beach in Laguna

I promised you
I would eat