Member Poem

Butterflies
They rise in my chest
From somewhere deep
So many thoughts
I can’t focus on one
My fists clench
My breath quickens
My heart beat so fast
It’s disappeared
I need his arms around me
Big strong and safe
I need to feel safe
Something to ground me
Everything is out of focus
His hand
Gently touches me
I pull back as if burned
Everything spins faster
And faster
My palms drenched
My fists clenching and unclenching
Digging my nails into my palms
I need to feel steady
He tries again
Gently wrapping his arms around me
He holds me tight
The beating of his heart a constant
Thump Thump Thump Thump
I focus on it
My fists unclench
My body loosens
I stay pressed against him
as the world stops spinning
The noises reduce
The thoughts fade
The butterflies disappear