It was November 8th, 2016.
It was 7:30 PM.
I typed into the search bar at google,
“election.”
Donald Trump was leading.
I keep the link under “Election- FEAR.”
As I saved the bookmark,
I smiled knowing that Hillary would win.
Knowing that in a day, I would look back at the link and be happy.
I would look back at the link, and reassure my past self.
“You had nothing to worry about.”
Knowing I was going to be reassured later,
I shouldn’t have been worried.
I had a million reasons not to.
I was.
It was November 8th, 2016.
It was 11:30 PM.
I had been frantically refreshing my screen,
but the result came out the same.
Donald Trump was leading.
I had expected the scared feeling of fear to go away by now.
It hadn’t.
I had a million reasons to be worried.
I was.
It was November 9th, 2016.
It was 2:30 AM.
I had set half an hour alarms so I could wake up and check the results.
Every time I was awoken,
I had to convince myself that
<95% chance of winning had not meant he had won.
Donald Trump was leading,
nothing more.
I had a million reasons to be scared.
I was.
It was November 9th, 2016.
It was 3:00 AM.
The fears I had told myself would never come true
Glared up from my screen, confirming what I had previously known to be impossible.
The good news:
Donald Trump was no longer leading.
The bad news:
Donald Trump had won.
It is January 25th, 2017.
It is 7:14 PM.
Donald Trump signed a bill to build a wall on our border, today.
The reality we have been denying is here.
I never deleted the bookmark.
Every time I open my browser,
I get a reminder.
“Election- FEAR”
Our work is never done.
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