Member Poem

Beautiful man of moss and streams,
Antlers and butterflies,
How come I could not hold you,
In my eyes?
How come I could not keep you
by my side?
Big smile,
True heart,
Soft eyes.
How come I could not carry
Your child?
I pushed you away,
So that you could stay,
So that I could stay,
And I could go,
And you would know,
I love you,
But I loved my life more.
And now
I’m not so sure.
Now
Every moment I am tired
Every moment I am beaten
Every moment I am lost
I miss you.

Like worms miss the morning dew
Who hide from the birds,
And birds miss the morning worms
Who hide from the raptors,
And rapture
Is a privilege
I left in your arms,
A pilgrimage
We travel together,
Past lost cities and fertile farms,
Past mountains and ocean,
Cold water,
Sweet samba,
And island dancing.
When we met
You taught me tai chi in a hecatate wind;
Damp cold and Earnest-Nox bonfire champaign.
I know
I left you in pain.
But your tranquil gaze wore off
And left my head lost on a precipice
Between satisfaction and ecstasy,
Sacrifice and wholeness,
Security and entropy.
Caught again in shifting wind,
Changing tide,
Fading twilight,
Our pieces no longer fit together
In my eyes.

I’m sorry.