revisiting trauma is difficult
one is often discouraged
from doing so with others present
when i told you the truth about me
it felt like my stomach was opening
(spilling your guts for once seemed an apt term)
revealing the eye under my scarred-over lashes
maybe i am forcing this
yes, you've helped me get this far
so now it seems i should let you go
and there is so much relief in failure
dear i think i don’t love anything
dear i want you to be free from that
directly after: the utterly hopeless what now?
because
i do love you
maybe it’s because i have no tears
that a menace forces its way out
of my throat every now and then
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