Member Poem

I wish the threads of my fear
Could be woven into a noose so I could finally end it

And I am not suicidal, I just want to kill my fear

But at this point my terrors and myself are becoming indistinguishable
And it’ll continue to be parasitic

Until fear has finally taken over me

Or maybe it already has

Maybe it's already begun making the rope out of my own flesh

And maybe that's why my chest is always tight

And every second

That ticks by

I find it harder and

Harder

To breathe

Maybe Im already on my way to ascension

Although I don't remember heaven ever looking like

A body dangling from a ceiling

But it often feels

That's as high as I can go

Or ever even want to

I don’t quite remember when my fear killed me but it seems like

It didn’t stop the murdering when I stopped breathing

Because doing so would just be a waste although

It seems a waste is all I’ve ever amounted to be

My fear began to take a knife and with a hand

Steadier than a God

Or a broken see-saw

With no wind to upset it

And nobody around to fulfill it

And it started skinning me alive

And I tried to scream

I tried to call out for help

But my cries only sounded like a wave

A wave thats calming to everyone else

But no one seems to recognize

That waves is a sign of a storm

And a storm

Is a sign of lightning

and lightning can paralyze

And now when Im finally breathless

All the sound I was able to produce was as quiet

As me blinking

And it took my skin and fabricated a suit

One that could allow it to disguise itself as me

And as I lay there bleeding, it looked down at me

And even I couldn’t tell who was who

Except the only distinguishable difference

Left in the screaming pains of my silence

Was that I

Was the one left

Dangling from a ceiling.
And that I

I was the one left