Member Poem

We sit watching scary movies
that make us laugh so hard
we lean on each other
with careless disregard
because you can’t squeeze
your heart
into foolish small spaces
and I can
just be myself.
We laugh
until I can’t breathe,
until you fill my lungs
with a whisper of your joy
and I inhale
the scent of happiness.
I lay beside you
as the hour grows late
and spoon you because I like it,
maybe more than you do,
a warm snuggle
where I lay my head in loving you
because your days are too long
and mine are stretched too thin
to hold it all together. So
I tickle you silly,
my cold fingers reaching
up to your armpits
because I told you
that it’s the warmest part
of your 8-year-old body,
while you fight me
with giggles and squeals
in the arsenal of your love.
I smile gently
because neither of us
believes such silliness
since the warmest part
has always been your heart,
and I cleave to the vain hope
that you’ll never outgrow
our nightly “cold-cold” snuggles.
The world may have stretched
farther apart,
threads in a tapestry
no longer tethered
together and desperate
for a normalcy
that’s already been replaced.
But I cling to my heartbeats,
each one pulsing with memories
that aren’t tainted with just fear.
***