Pursuing truth,
Hanging on to my principles—
ethical, moral,
have only given me
heartaches and sleepless nights,
and led me down a path to
guilt and regret.
Following my faith
deprived me of my destiny,
My self-assurance,
my self-consciousness.
I became too rigid to relax;
Years of cynicism and sarcasm
began to corrode something inside me,
Love, Faith, Peace
are just the means to achieve
Lust, Hate, Power.
Always skeptical about good deeds,
Suspicious of generosity,
I could feel the years wearing on me.
Why did I pick a stray stone
and carved myself a deity?
Now this false hope
follows me everywhere
like a leash around my neck
that I could not break free of.
Living my life had been
a Sisyphean task …
All my dreams turned to ashes,
I am the smoke.
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