by DavidKM

Open-Minded Real Estate Agent Urgently Sought By Recent Widow

My late husband left me a large
subterranean estate
that I must sell quickly;
it might make a nice bomb shelter
or a spacious mushroom farm
(I have no experience with commerce;
I very much need your help).
Also, he left a modest treasure, jewels and gold,
a ton or so: can you serve as broker?
I'll keep a few items only.
He was slain by a hero (curséd sword and all that,
I'm sure you understand).
He left me a few billion souls, too;
they must be worth something.
Oh, and the curséd sword:
the conquering hero
reached a wench too far,
presumed to grapple with Me

(She Who Is Always Prepared).
I'm selling the sword,
don't like how it winks at me.

I'm keeping the skulls, though,
both of them:
they'll make handsome goblets.

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