One morning, in the month of May,
The nuns of Penham Nunnery
Beheld a glorious display –
A fully blooming Penis Tree!
It just sprang up, at crack of dawn!
One Sister Phyliss, breathless, told.
There came a rumbling in the lawn
And all the garden glimmered gold!
A miracle! The Mother gasped.
This surely is a gift from God!
And, with her right hand, grabbed and grasped
A phallus-fruit to poke and prod.
Yea, it is fresh! She uttered then
And, Alleluia! all replied.
Ah, God is good, she sighed. Amen!
Amen! The Penham sisters cried.
Come, let us gather! Mother spoke.
And each obeyed with muchly cheer,
I’ve made my robe a carry-cloak!
Said Frances, grinning ear to ear.
Once all the phallus-fruit was picked
They took it to the kitchen hands
Who gladly peeled and pulled and pricked
And cut out all the gristly strands.
Then all was sliced and put to boil
With butter, onions, mushrooms, salt,
Tomatoes too, the cooking oil,
Some peppers and a dash of malt.
At last the sacred stew was served
And Mother led the morning grace;
All proper customs were observed
Then each nun smiled and stuffed her face.
- - -
Spotlight, The HyperTexts, January and February 2022
Inspired by an illustration from The Romance of the Rose MS, 14th century
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