Member Poem

 

And as I walked amongst the flames, a part of me began to change. The inner beast inside of me, had gasped for breath so I could breathe. I'm not afraid, I said with grace, holding onto my mistakes. I've had regrets along the way, that made me who I am today. 

 

She said these stones were thrown by those who lost their way along the road.

 

At first I pondered than I asked, is time my friend and will it last? She said of course your mind is still. And life is just an upward hill. Sometimes we're weak and then we fall, with broken backs against the wall. But please remember you're not alone. You'll always have somewhere to go.

 

It seemed to me she didn't believe, my darkest thoughts or wildest dreams. She let me know that I was troubled, and the price I paid would soon be doubled. I hope that I have made amends, and if not then I'll try again.

 

She said these scars are seen by eyes, that most won't touch or can't describe. I said I'm  done, nowhere to hide. I've built these walls so no stars shine. But beauty hides in empty eyes. And truth come out within the lies. Innocence is left behind. Just be aware you're born to die.

 

But due before it is too late, don't hide your shame with masks of hate. Ignite the flame that fuels the rage, and learn to live another day.

 

Before she left to say goodbye, she looked me, began to cry. Dead straight looked me in the eyes, said you've been low when you were high. And you will make it out alive.

 

The devil walked me to the gates of heaven but I had to wait. So patient in his evil ways, it's funny but I'm glad he stayed.

 

We talked about the sins we shared, and just right then I knew he cared. He gave me lots of good advice, said angels sometimes come disguised.

 

I second guessed, and questioned time. I thought that it was on my side. I'm blinded by these bloodshot eyes, I've tried my best to just survive.

 

This world has brought me to my knees, I cannot pray or live my dreams. I know that darkness comes from light, and someday that I'll be alright.

 

I cannot fight these waves of fear, I've carried on throughout the years. But silence is my only friend, when I can't seem to love again. But I have so much left to say, I won't back down or fade away.

 

You'll find me in a better place, far amongst the fog and haze. I'll lay beyond the verdant trees, and pass by like a summer breeze.

 

And as he left me there to stay, the last thing that he said to me, was maybe you're not meant to lay, but stand your ground, and find your place.