When writing your suicide letter
always remember to include the phrase
“It is not your fault”
This will help whoever finds it
Be it your roommate
family member
unsuspecting plumber
cope with the burden of finding you after the deed is done
When writing your suicide letter
be sure to write
“I cannot bare this life anymore, the immense depression is crippling me and I have to get out, do not weep for me, for I am going to a better place”
This will get across to whoever finds it
Be it your roommate
family member
unsuspecting Plumber
that you are a tortured soul who was probably an unsuccessful poet
When writing your suicide letter
Do not treat it as a joke
Too many people write them as pranks
and it is not fair for the rest
The worst possible ending would be for
whoever finds it
Be it your roommate
family member
unsuspecting Plumber
to fall into despair only to realize that you are a sick fuck
When writing your suicide letter
use pencil
Let this letter be as non permanent as your commitment to the act
Use the eraser as much as possible
Let your tears smudge the words
Don’t make sense of your writing
Just write
Throw the rough draft in the trash
When writing your suicide letter
Take your time
Give it thought
Make sure it is everything it needs to be
When finished
look at you letter and proofread for grammatical errors
When perfect
and only when absolutely perfect may you proceed
Proceed with the following
Call your mother
Tell her you love her
Call your Father
Tell him you love him
Call everyone that may find your letter
Be it your roommate
Family member
Unsuspecting plumber
and tell them you love them
Listen to their voice
Their words
Mark the inflections, mannerisms,volume
Notice their ecstasy when you utter those three words
Make plans to see them later that day
Go to lunch
Walk around your town, city or village
See it for the first time
With eyes that have shed completely
to reveal corneas of unbelievable color and grandeur
Say hello to everyone
Tell everyone to have a beautiful day
because it is one
Truly enjoy yourself on this monumental day
After the lantern has burned all its oil
Return home
Reread your suicide letter
Laugh
Go to the person that would find it
Be it your roommate
Family member
Unsuspecting plumber
and tell them how much life means to you
When writing your suicide letter
always remember
that there is a better way
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