Member Poem

Why?
Why is it that things always seem to get better but I don’t believe it’s true I don’t let it fool me like I have so many times in the past but they stay fine for so long that eventually I fall for it and as soon as I do it’s all of a sudden back to how it used to be when I was hurting myself constantly when I tried everything to stop feeling that horrible pain inside me the pain that I thought would kill me if I didn’t do it first can someone please tell me why I always let the devil trick me into believing it’s all going to be okay it’s over I’m going to be fine when In reality it meant that it will be okay once I’m dead and i still listened even when I knew what it really meant and I knew that I couldn’t stop till I was dead because it wouldn’t let me SOMEONE please tell me why I’m STILL trying to die when I don’t even want to anymore because I’m so done with life that I can’t even bring myself to take those pills and end it when all I have the strength to do anymore is to close my eyes each night and wait for morning to come and for another day of me pretending I’m fine because that’s what everyone wants to believe so I let them even though it’s so clear that I’m not or is it maybe I just think it is and I’m better at hiding it then I thought even though I’m not trying very hard people must not look very hard someone please tell me why I just can’t seem to get better when everyone else can