The Seven Deadly Holidays

The Seven Deadly Holidays

New Year’s Envy: Both kinds of romantics--bitter and naive--yearn for one-night magic
   to change everything into Gatsby’s parties, but green lights
   turn into red lights and DUIs in the sleet, and city doorways
   reek of recycled champagne.

Valustine’s Day: Not about sex, but dark chocolate, red lingerie, a dozen roses
   purchased at triple price, reserved tables of nouveau cuisine,
   and velvet boxes of diamond bracelets feeding the fever
   of what will you spend for me?

Indepridence Day:  Bombs in color--how fun! Who cares who we are as long as we’re
   number one?

Slothquinox:  Whatever.

Hallowrath:  An apocalypse of anonymity, alter egos let loose at dusk demand
   candy in costumes, rehearsing entitlement for their starring moments
   decades later when they don masks to rob banks and shoot presidents.
    
Thanksgluttony: Oh, god, the family again, ameliorated only by turkey grease
   and pie crust washed down with mudslides into a deep
   tryptophan coma and the hypnotic violence of television football.

Greedmas:  75% off plus free shipping!

Published in Penduline