There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!
I perceive a young bird in this bush!'
When they said, "Is it small?'
He replied, "Not at all!
It is four times as big as the bush!'

There was an old man who said, " How
Shall I flee from this horrible cow?
I will sit on this stile,
And continue to smile,
Which may soften the heart of that cow."

There was an Old Man of West Dumpet,
Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet;
When he blew it aloud, it astonished the crowd,
And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.

There was an Old Man of Three Bridges,
Whose mind was distracted by midges;
He sate on a wheel, eating underdone veal,
Which relieved that Old Man of Three Bridges.

There was an Old Man of the West,
Who wore a pale plum-coloured vest;
When they said, " Does it fit?" he replied, " Not a bit!"
That uneasy Old Man of the West.

There was an Old Man of the East,
Who gave all his children a feast;
But they all ate so much, and their conduct was such,
That it killed that Old Man of the East.

There was an Old Man of the Dee,
Who was sadly annoyed by a flea;
When he said, " I will scratch it" — they gave him a hatchet,
Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee.

There was an Old Man of the coast,
Who placidly sat on a post;
But when it was cold
He relinquished his hold
And called for some hot buttered toast.

There was an old man of Tarentum,
Who gnashed his false teeth till he bent 'mdash:
—And when asked for the cost
—Of what he had lost,
Said, “I really can't tell, for I rent 'mdash!”

There was an Old Man of Spithead,
Who opened the window, and said, —
" Fil-jomble, fil-jumble, fil-rumble-come-tumble!"
That doubtful Old Man of Spithead.