There was an old man from Peru
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe;
He woke in a fright
In the middle of the night
And found it was perfectly true.

There was an Old Man of Kamschatka
Who possessed a remarkably fat Cur;
His gait and his waddle
Were held as a model
To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka.

There was an Old Man of Girgenti,
Who lived in profusion and plenty;
He lay on two chairs, and ate thousands of pears,
That susceptible Man of Girgenti.

There was an Old Man of Dunblane,
Who greatly resembled a crane;
But they said, — " Is it wrong, since your legs are so long,
To request you won't stay in Dunblane?"

There was an Old Man of Bohemia,
Whose daughter was christened Euphemia;
Till one day, to his grief, she married a thief,
Which grieved that Old Man of Bohemia.

There was an old lady of Chertsey,
Who made a remarkable curtsey;
She twirled round and round,
Till she sank underground,
Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.

There was a young woman named Plunnery
Who rejoiced in the practice of gunnery,
Till one day unobservant,
She blew up a servant,
And was forced to retire to a nunnery.

There was a young woman called Starky
Who had an affair with a darky.
The result of her sins
Was quadruplets, not twins:
One black, and one white, and two khaki.

There was a Young Person of Crete,
Whose toilette was far from complete;
She dressed in a sack, spickle-speckled with black,
That ombliferous person of Crete.

There was a young man so benighted
He didn't know when he was slighted,
— But went to the party
— And ate just as hearty
As if he'd been duly invited!