These are epigrams by Michael R. Burch, both original epigrams and translations of epigrams. 

Multiplication, Tabled
by Michael R. Burch

for the Religious Right

“Be fruitful and multiply”—
great advice, for a fruitfly!
But for women and men,
simple Simons, say, “WHEN!”

Originally published by Poem Today


Not Elves, Exactly
by Michael R. Burch

after Robert Frost's "Mending Wall"

Something there is that likes a wall,
that likes it spiked and likes it tall,

that likes its pikes’ sharp rows of teeth
and doesn’t mind its victims’ grief

(wherever they come from, far or wide)
as long as they fall on the other side.


by Michael R. Burch

Fierce ancient skalds summoned verse from their guts;
today’s genteel poets prefer modern ruts.


by Thomas Campion
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch

Booksellers laud authors for novel editions
as pimps praise their whores for exotic positions.


Long Division
by Michael R. Burch

after Laura Riding Jackson

All things become one
Through death’s long division
And perfect precision.


Less Heroic Couplets: Meal Deal
by Michael R. Burch

Love is a splendid ideal ...
at least till it costs us a meal.


Less Heroic Couplets: Self-ish
by Michael R. Burch

Let’s not pretend we “understand” other elves
As long as we remain mysteries to ourselves.

Keywords/Tags: epigram, epigrams, original, translation, advice, wall, Frost, death, love

Author of original: 
Thomas Campion