Classic Poem

As Flatt'ry took her artful way
She met with Ridicule one day,
Surpriz'd she view'd her alter'd face —
No cunning smile — no arch grimace!
No sprightly fascinating jest,
Imagin'd half — and half express'd;
The wond'ring damsel now distinguish'd.
His very nature seem'd extinguish'd!
With look so grave and air so cool,
" Can this " she cried, " be Ridicule?
" Have we not met in ev'ry party
" Like cronies, jovial, fond and hearty?
" And slyly have I smooth'd the way
" To gain you many a pleasant day.
" Such noble victories we have shar'd
" That Truth herself has often star'd,
" And sense has blush'd — but 'tis no matter
" Since you can smile, and I can flatter,
" While impudence is nothing loth
" But lends her triumphs to us both. "
" Talk not of triumphs, like a fool! "
Enrag'd said angry Ridicule,
" Curse on your tricks, and all your skill,
" Humility's unconquer'd still!
" Was ere, a mortal creature seen,
" So insolent, and yet so mean?
" Whilst wit, and pomp, and grandeur flies me
" That strange intrepid wretch defies me —
" Undaunted still he takes the field,
" I'm sure no mortal made his shield!
" My keenest darts are blunted there
" And fall quite harmless I declare:
" Oh! did the world in which we dwell
" Thus artfully my blows repel
" With all my genius, scorpion-like,
" The sting I wou'd in others strike —
" In my own vitals then might fix
" And send me to the banks of Styx. "

Majestic Wisdom, with that grace
Which shews his claim in ev'ry place,
Approach'd and said — " if I may rule
" I'll ease the doubts of Ridicule,
" But some restraints (tho' wit attend her)
" Tis fit and seemly shou'd attend her:
" Ne'er let her frolic, skip, and play
" Except in folly's motley way.
" When impudence appears in sight
" 'Tis clear that Ridicule is right,
" And ev'n tho' fashion looks perplext
" One hour — 'twill praise her too, the next.
" When Ridicule once knows her part
" Respect must flow from ev'ry heart,
" But much I fear, she's apt to roam
" Where gentle virtue makes its home.
" And when humility was found —
" She trespass'd on forbidden ground.
" If Ridicule will make too free
" And spoil the garden sown by me —
" If still her poison'd dart she throws
" Promiscuously at friends and foes,
" Disgrace must end her, tho' she's witty,
" And if she dies, not one will pity. "