Classic Poem

If God ever had intended,
When He first created man,
That he'd have smoked,
He'd have built him on
An entirely different plan,
He'd have furnished him with
A stovepipe, a damper, and a grate,
And He'd have had a smoke consumer
That was strictly up to date.

I have walked in sunny meadows
Where the sunbeams flashed and broke,
But I never saw the sheep, cattle and horses smoke.
I have watched the birds with wonder
When the grass with dew was wet,
But I never saw a robin
Puffing a cigarette.

I have fished in many a river
Where the sucker crop was ripe,
But I never saw a catfish
Puffing a briar pipe.
Man is the only living creature
That parades this vale of tears
Like a smoking traction engine
Puffing smoke from nose and ears.