Under Her Thumb

My wife thought she could keep me under her thumb.
She thought she would be my boss but she is really dumb.
When I wouldn't let her boss me around, she punched me as hard as she could.
I knocked her flat on her ass and when it came to hitting her, she didn't think I would.
My wife asked me why did I hit her just because she hit me.
I said because when it comes to men and women, I believe in equality.
She hit me again after she got in my new car and took a dump.
Once again I had to knock her flat on her rump.

The Simple Peasant.

Gossip, you'll like to hear, no doubt!
A learned work has just come out--
Messias is the name 'twill bear;
The man has travelled through the air,
And on the sun-beplastered roads
Has lost shoe-leather by whole loads,--
Has seen the heavens lie open wide,
And hell has traversed with whole hide.
The thought has just occurred to me
That one so skilled as he must be
May tell us how our flax and wheat arise.
What say you?--Shall I try to ascertain?

You fool, to think that any one so wise

Subscribe to RSS - funny poems