Short Poems

" How many times", mused Hugo,
" Do fours into 372 go?
Come, now; let me see.
I have it — Ninety-three !"

It was rather disconcerting for Hannibal
To be introduced to a cannibal
Who expressed the very highest opinion
Of cold pickled Carthaginian.

No doubt the poet Gray
Was all very well in his way,
But he couldn't write a song
Like " Now We Shan't Be Long."

Edward the Confessor
Slept under the dresser.
When that began to pall,
He slept in the hall.

A man in the position
Of the Emperor Domitian
Ought to have thought twice
About being a Monster of Vice.

I'll tell her the next time, said I:
In vain! in vain! for when I try,
Upon my tim'rous tongue the trembling accents die.
Alas! a thousand thousand fears
Still overawe when she appears;
My breath is spent in sighs, my eyes are drown'd in tears.

What if Bishop Creighton
Was descended from a Titan?
A man I know called Binks
Is descended from the Sphinx.

One day the putting of Cotton
Was so indescribably rotten
That H.H. the Sultan of Johore
Beat him by 6 and 4.

President Coolidge
Objected to paying muleage
When the people of Nicaragua
Sent him a nice jaguar.

The only occasion when Comte
Is known to have romped
Was when the multitude roared, " Vive
La Philosophie positive!"